Today while I was pumping gas, the car door closed on my right thumb, which I have to say was extremely uncomfortable. I couldn’t pull my paw out. It took me a few seconds to figure out that I needed to twist around and use my other hand to open the door. My thumb is rather unhappy now.
And then last week I slammed the big metal warehouse door at work on my middle finger, yielding two big blood blisters that didn’t stay blisters very long, and spewed blood everywhere. I am so clumsy.
My new job is very difficult for me, and stressful because there’s a lot to learn and I’m feeling slow. There is also a lot to be responsible for, a fact that will become ever more so as the weeks pass. My job title is Community Outreach Coordinator, which means I’ll be managing three complex (to me) programs involving the public and volunteers: two that offer free animal food and some services to low-income people in hopes of allowing them to keep their pets, and the other the mobile adoption center that I’ve showed you a picture of already: a giant RV that eventually I will have to drive. My boss is a no-nonsense, driven, highly competent and knowledgeable young woman whom I respect. She’s the antithesis of touchy-feely, so learning can sometimes feel even more daunting. In addition to figuring out existing processes and procedures, there’s a complicated computer program that I’m having to learn. Earlier this week I told my boss that I feel like I have ten random pieces of a 500-piece puzzle, and am feeling a bit lost. She reassured me that I’m where I should be for now, and said that she will tell me if she thinks I’m falling short in some way. The job is half-time, and usually I don’t even put in the full twenty hours, but I’m there a lot: sometimes four or five days a week, often on weekends, and sometimes in evenings. But now I have five days off. Still, I go to sleep and wake up every night/day with my mind and stomach churning over work-worries. I really hope that this level of stress and anxiety subside, because I can’t take it. I’m terrified of failure, I think.
Other stuff in my life isn’t worth writing about. Tonight is Halloween. I won’t see Emmy this time, which I think is a first. Last year she helped me give out the candy. Tonight I’m going to turn off the lights in the house and hide in the back, because I don’t feel like giving out goodies to a bunch of little ones I don’t know, without my helper. I wish I had seen her in her Halloween costume.
What else? I just ate a bowl of farro with Sriracha sauce for dinner.
I’m thinking of going to Sacramento in a couple days. A change of scene is usually good.
That’s it for now. No pictures, no adventures. Wait: here’s one picture, of a scarf I’m knitting. How’s that for exciting!
No, last year was the ONLY Halloween we spent with you! I’m not saying that makes it any easier, just wanted to clarify. Emmy was actually in good form, even with all that sugar, and enjoyed her first-ever “happy trick or treating”.
I like that: you’re where you should be for now. It’d have been helpful though if, rather than promising to tell you whether you were falling short, she instead offered that she has no doubt you’ll get on swimmingly and will thrive in this new job and she’s also, by the way, delighted to have you on board. I’m sure that’s what she meant. 🙂 This would be a difficult transition for anyone, but I don’t doubt that you’re better equipped than most to get your footing.
Beautiful, elaborate scarf, as always!