Pearls

I don’t believe a blog is the place to talk about my Real Life, particularly not in its current state of multifaceted suckage.

Instead I bring you random pearls lovingly gathered over the past few days.

In the June issue of Tiny Joy, the newsletter of Sweet Maria’s Coffee, the owner describes how he’s drowning in new coffee samples, stashed in every cranny of his office.

Occasionally there are the escapees, loose green coffee now hopelessly separated from its designated bag: anonymous, alone, doomed to become floor sweepings, never to be roasted, tasted or appreciated.

This is the first time I’ve identified with a bean.

A few nights ago, I went with AG & MC & Bul to the Austin Lounge Lizards, whose performance was an effective salve for the irritants of life. Their songs make me feel better about religion (“Jesus loves me but you’re gonna fry”), politics, antidepressants and the difficulties of learning Spanish.

Here’s what they have to say about their native state:

Our accents are the drawliest, our howdies are the y’alliest,
Our Lone Star flag’s the waviest, our fried steak’s the cream-graviest,
Our rattlesnakes the coiliest, our beaches are the oiliest,
Our politicians most corrupt, our stop signs most abrupt,
Our guitars are the twangiest, our guns are the keblangiest.
Our cows are the long-horniest, our yodels the forlorniest…

I left the concert with a new t-shirt. One of the band members admired it and I think he said it matches my eyes.

Ever-vigilant AG harvested some inspired quotations in Florida last week, including:

With one tuckus I can’t dance at two weddings.