I asked my intermediate students to write about what they would change about themselves if they could. Two chose to be taller. Here’s what the Japanese woman had to say about height:
“If my eyes were tall, I could see view.”
And the young Korean man wanted to be tall so his son would also be tall:
“If I had tall, my son would not be short-tall. So he would not hate me.”
I asked my advanced students to write sentences using modal verbs, such as can.
“The can of our body have fleshy meat.”
The writer gave an asterisked definition of can as buttocks. Not exactly what I had in mind.
And another:
“You might not light the candle or insane. You shouldn’t speak or talk.”
English is bloody hard.